THE PICKUP
Setting: A house party … and somebody’s just got lucky …

SFX : PARTY SOUNDS, MUSIC, DRINKS CLINKING, BOTTLES OPENING, THEN HEAVY BREATHING IN RIGHT EAR
Female Voice (FV) : So, you got yourself your own place at last? I’d love to see it …
SFX : KISSING SOUND, ACCOMPANIED BY BREATHING IN RIGHT EAR
FV : … you know I’ve always liked you, don’t you?
Male Voice (MV) (thinking) : Funny how you never looked at me before .. maybe I did do the right thing, buying that pad after all?
SFX : KISSING ON LEFT EAR NOW – SOFT GIGGLE
MV : Okay, let’s go .. if you’re ready?
SFX : KEYS JANGLING
FV : Oh, I’m always ready
SFX : KISSING IN FRONT, AS IF ON LIPS
SFX : FOOTSTEPS TO DOOR, WHICH OPENS, PARTY SOUNDS SUBSIDE, CAR ALARM BEEPS, DOORS OPEN AND CLOSE, ENGINE NOISE – INTERIOR OF CAR NOW, TRAFFIC SOUNDS ALL AROUND … FADEOUT

SFX : KEYS JANGLING, DOOR OPENING, MOZZY NOISE ALL AROUND, ACCOMPANIED BY FULL ROCK BAND ON ONE SIDE AND DRIPPING TAP ON THE OTHER
FV : Is this it? Where’s the bed?
MV : Uh, it’s here ..
SFX : CUPBOARD DOORS OPENING, THE SOUND OF A BED BEING DROPPED TO THE FLOOR, STILL THE THREE SOUNDS ALL AROUND
MV (thinks) : I can’t believe it … I finally got her round to my place after months of chasing her and now … I need to …
MV : Why don’t you make yourself comfortable? I’ll just go and freshen up
SFX : THREE SOUNDS ALL AROUND, BATHROOM DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING, CLOSE-UP MOZZY SOUND AGAIN, OTHER NOISES SUBSIDE SLIGHTLY
VOP : YOU CAN’T FIGHT IT ANY LONGER, CAN YOU? YOU NEED TO GO … YOU DESPERATELY NEED TO SIT ON THAT TOILET AND YOU KNOW YOU MIGHT BE THERE FOR AN HOUR … LOOK, THERE’S THE BOOK YOU STARTED WHEN YOU MOVED IN. YOU’RE NEARLY HALFWAY THROUGH NOW. AT LEAST CHRONIC PELVIC PAIN SYNDROME IS MAKING YOU READ AGAIN … THE LAST TIME YOU READ ANYTHING WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, WASN’T IT? GO ON … PICK IT UP, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO … SHE WON’T MIND WAITING, WILL SHE?
SFX : FRANTIC CELLPHONE ACTIVITY THEN A PAUSE BEFORE A PAGER SOUND EMITS FROM THE HANDSET.
MV : (mock surprise) Oh no! Not now …
FV : (muffled from the other side of the door) What’s wrong?
SFX : DOOR OPENING, THREE SOUNDS RESUME PREVIOUS INTENSITY ALL AROUND
MV : It’s this new job I’ve got – I’m constantly on call, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to take you home. Damn … it’s such an important position …
FV : (under her breath) It’s gonna be your only position tonight …
SFX : THE DRUMMER PLAYS A <BOOM-TISH> AS IF TO SIGNIFY A JOKE HAS BEEN MADE, ALL OTHER SOUNDS STILL SURROUNDING THE UNHAPPY COUPLE
MV : I’m sorry … can we take a raincheck?
VOP : RAINCHECK … I LIKE THAT … INTERESTING CHOICE OF WORDS .. .CONJURING UP THE IMAGE OF WATER FALLING ON A ROOF –
SFX : HEAVY RAIN OVERHEAD
VOP : – THEN RUNNING DOWN A GUTTER
SFX : WATER RUNNING DOWN A GUTTER
VOP : I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK .. I THINK WE CAN WORK TOGETHER, YOU KNOW THAT? AND LET’S FACE IT, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HAVE MUCH ELSE TO DO NOW, ARE YOU? – LAUGHS
SFX : HUGE LIGHTNING CRACK AND ACCOMPANYING THUNDER – FADEOUT